yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
