She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
