Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My vagina is officially offended.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
