I think i sorta joined a cult last night
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
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