Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
