Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
