Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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