I think i peed on brittanys purse
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
ttyl tear gas
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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