Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
