His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
