I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize