You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
