Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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