the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
