Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
