I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
