I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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