He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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