....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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