im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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