So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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