Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Never underestimate the power of titties
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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