people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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