If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
