My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
