I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize