Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Still dying that you shit outside
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
