He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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