Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
