I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
