Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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