is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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