Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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