he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
