I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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