don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize