So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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