Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
