So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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