Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
