saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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