So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
