see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
