This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
