I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
