I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
