Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
