yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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