i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
