Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
