They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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