the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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