i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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