we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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