Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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