What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
