i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
