I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my sisters under your porch take her home
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
