dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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