how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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