Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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