so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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