I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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