Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
