Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
